Sickness is gross. Illness makes me want to, let's keep it polite, spew. I don't have time or patience for it. The thing about the colder season is that it's cold season. Everybody gets all sniffly, sneezy, coughy, phlemy, diseasy, downright nasty. And for the record, when people blow their noses, it's worse than nails on a chalkboard. The sounds just skeeves me out, especially the people who make that honking sound. What IS that? Nope. Wait. I really don't want to know. Just keep your nose-blowing away from me. Far, far, far away from me.
As I have mentioned before, Boyfriend's go-to when he's ill is that neo sicktron stuff. It puts him out, so I may or may not push it on him even when he's just starting to get a cold, or I just need a little me time. Who says that drugging your partner is a bad thing? We have the best bonding time when he's passed out in the living room. We watch shows and movies together that he wouldn't dream of watching if he were conscious. Sometimes we have a good time doing shadow puppets. Oh wait, that's misleading, I do shadow puppets. The light from the dining room shines into the living room at the best angle so that if he's on the left side of the room the shadows land on him. A while ago I was making him look like Gene Simmons in his Kiss makeup. It's all about fanning your fingers out when you position the shadows over his eyes. And one time when he was snoring, I pressed my hand on his stomach to alarm him into silence, but not alarm him enough to wake up. He went, mmm, like the sound one makes when they just finish a hearty meal, then he rolled to his other side and slept in silence. Making memories people, it's what it's all about. We have a good time when Boyfriend is knocked out and on the couch. Wow, in hindsight, if I led with that last sentence for this blog post, somebody may have notified the authorities and they would have found my ether stash. That would be like, nine different kinds of uncool. So I will thank you all for minding your business.
As will happen, there is the stage before the neo sicktron kicks in and puts Boyfriend out. Also, Boyfriend's a sipper. It tastes gnarly, I say hunker down and chug that bad boy, because bleh. It's just so not good at all. He likes to add wedges of actual lemon sometimes to make it taste more...real lemony? You definitely can't say it makes it taste better. Nothing could do that. One night as I'm gently pushing the bottom of his mug higher to pour more of that faux-lemony crap down his throat, he resists and lowers his drink. Boyfriend peers into the darkness of the ceramic mug, and as we don't have an overhead light in the living room it makes it hard to see inside. He squints, then looks at me with curiosity. What? I thought you didn't put any lemon in here. I didn't. Then why is there lemon in it? What? I sit up, look inside myself, and I swear I see a lemon wedge in there too. What in the hell? Boyfriend, though not so put off as to stop drinking the neo sicktron, goes on to blame me for my inability to wash dishes properly. I do! Though I don't like to wash dishes I do it because we don't have a dishwasher. Probably because it would take up half of the free space we have to move in our apartment. I don't disagree, because I truly believe that it's possible that maybe I didn't wash that mug. I don't even remember if I grabbed a dirty one off the counter or a clean one from the cupboard. I'm a little fluffy in the brain, anything is possible. As is customary, I get up to make myself some tea, and Boyfriend follows me into the kitchen with the mug of his now-finished beverage. Can we call it a beverage? No. Beverages, I believe, aren't mediciney. What he just finished was not a beverage. He tilts the mug in the light over the stove and looks in to check out the old lemon from his drink. Huh. What now? Look. I peek inside, bracing myself for something disgusting. Only...the mug is empty. Didn't you see it in there too? I really thought I did. There are only two possible conclusions here: 1) In his medicated winding-down-to-sleep time Boyfriend accidentally swallowed the whole wedge of lemon without realizing (meaning his mouth is bigger than I thought), or 2) We just really need a light in our living room.
Time for tea,
K
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